The Story

SHADOW SCHEELE

July 19, 2003

It was supposed to be a joyous mid-summer family vacation to Vermont to celebrate the 40th wedding anniversary and renewal of vows of an aunt and uncle. In the four years that we have had the joy of our two children, SHADOW and Lucy, we have never been away from them overnight. If they can’t come with us…we don’t go. From the day we adopted SHADOW on March 3, 1999 and Lucy on July 3, 1999, we have fed them the same meals that we eat, brushed their teeth both night and morning, bathed them several times a week, brushed them 2 or 3 times a day, dressed them in fleece coats in the winter and raincoats in the rain, run them 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours every evening, taken them on every errand…to the bank, the post office, the shops in town, the Naval Academy. They have been in every family photo we have ever had. They rode in the car every time it left our driveway. They went to every party we went to, every wedding we went to, and every funeral we went to.

Not having been able to have children of our own, we knew that the answer was to adopt two furry children that needed extra love and caring. SHADOW was our little boy…our son…our child. We loved him as if he were our own flesh and blood. When we adopted SHADOW and Lucy, my husband and I decided that I would work from home so that I could be with the children all day long. In the beginning, I worked long hours in the office, with both SHADOW and Lucy always in my office keeping me company. Before long, we realized that the joy of parenthood would truly be complete if I gave up my work to be able to give my full attention to my two special children. We decided that we would do whatever we needed to make it on one salary instead of two…because the rewards of my being with SHADOW and Lucy with my full attention day and night…far outweighed the extra income. We were so happy. We had picnic dinners with the four of us…instead of the two of us going out to dinner. We cancelled our anniversary trip to Hawaii…because it would not be a vacation without our two children. We made day trips to the beach throughout the fall and winter to give our children the opportunity to run free on the sand. We took hiking trips to the mountains so that SHADOW and Lucy could experience the beauty surrounding us. We took our children swimming in the Bay every summer Sunday after church. We had the world in our hands.

He was the happiest little boy you can imagine. Having come to our home from an abused background, the first night in our loving arms made him know that he was “home.” God sent SHADOW to us…he was our bundle of joy…our gift from God. He brightened every day with his energy, his affection, his smile, his tail that wagged in a complete circle…not just back and forth. He completed our lives. He adored his sister, Lucy and she was never away from his side. The two romped and played and snuggled and cuddled. During thunderstorms, Lucy would hide in the bathtub…shaking in fear…until SHADOW would jump in with her and lay his head on her side…immediately Lucy would be calmed.

Neighbors used to be amazed to drive by and see SHADOW perched in his favorite spot…the roof of our car…just sitting there watching the birds. He NEVER went near the road…and stayed in his front yard just taking in the beauty of life. He almost never missed the chance to greet Ron the Mailman every afternoon…not for the cookies in Ron’s pocket…but rather the pats on his head and the chance to see his special friend.

SHADOW would be so excited when Daddy came home from work that we often thought he could hear Daddy’s truck from a mile away. At 5:30 in the afternoon…he would perch himself at the front window…just watching. As soon as Daddy’s truck turned off…he would bolt out the front door…down the driveway and literally leap into Daddy’s lap!

When any one of our many, many midshipmen at the U.S. Naval Academy would arrive at the house for a visit…SHADOW would be the first to greet them with that wonderful tail going around and around in a complete circle. He would jump up and run around them and then lay at their feet until they had to go back to school.

SHADOW and Lucy always knew when it was T-bone steak night…they got them at least once a month…the whole steak for dinner and the big bone for dessert. It was the only dessert they loved more than their every night dish of ice cream.

Playing “hide and seek” was SHADOW’s favorite game and not a day passed that we did not play it with him at least 3 times…making the bed or outside under the tree…or running on the beach at Bethany. He always knew that we knew where he was…but delighted in the fact that we pretended we could not find him.

He loved tearing the tissue paper out of gift bags…and pulling the feathers out of feather dusters. He loved his stuffed bunny and his puppy dog. He loved the slipper the mids gave him for his birthday. He loved his Grandpa who he visited every single day in Annapolis. He loved his uncles. He loved his playmates. He loved his Mommy and Daddy and his Lucy. SHADOW loved his life.

How excited he was when we pulled up in the driveway of the Autumn Crest Bed and Breakfast in Vermont…where we always stayed on our trips because it is a farm in the country with rescue horses. SHADOW even remembered the room we had on our last visit…and upon our arrival he ran right up to the door. He was ready for a long weekend of playing in the fields, visiting Grandma, going out to dinner with friends, and going to the anniversary party in Northfield, VT.

We got up at 5:30 AM on Saturday, July 19th so that SHADOW and Lucy would have extra playtime in the fields before we went to the church for the renewal of vows of an aunt and uncle. We wanted them to have every opportunity to run and play in the crisp air and beauty of Vermont. We played outside from 5:30 until 9:30 AM…running, rolling, sniffing, exploring, greeting guests as they awoke and took a morning stroll…and greeted the Inn’s employees as they arrived for work that morning. After a bowl of cheerios we were off to see Grandma for a visit before we went to the church for the 1:00 PM service. At Grandma’s house…there was lots of exploring to do…after all, SHADOW had not seen Grandma in over a year. There were lots of pets and hugs and trees to sniff and neighbors to meet and games to play with Lucy. It was such a beautiful summer day. Sunny, crisp, cool…not hot like in Maryland. It was running weather…without a doubt.

It seemed that the time passed quickly and it was time to hop in the truck and head to the church. It was going to be a fun afternoon and of course…we had a picnic lunch waiting in the truck…oh how SHADOW loved picnics. We have them at least 3 times a week…no matter what the weather. We arrived at the church early and decided we should park in the shade…out of the way where it would be peaceful. SHADOW and Lucy were so excited…yet another new place to explore…WOW…what a weekend this was! We walked around the old church…sniffing under the steps and around the bushes and here and there. Oh this was such a great day! Looking at the time, we decided we should have our picnic lunch before people started to arrive in the parking lot for the church service. We had turkey sandwiches and water…with ice cubes. SHADOW and Lucy were so excited…they could hardly eat their lunch…they were much too busy exploring. At 12:45, we announced that it was time for us to go into church and that we would be gone for just a short while. SHADOW and Lucy go with us to church every Sunday…so they knew this would be the perfect opportunity for them to take a nap to restore their energy for the rest of the day. They both headed back toward the truck as soon as we called them and we decided maybe just one more water break before they hopped into the truck. By now, people were starting to arrive in the parking lot. I was giving SHADOW his water and petting him and kissing him. I always kissed him and told him how much I love him. He so enjoyed drinking ice water and his little face with its’ drops of water on his nose looked up at me. He seemed to say, ‘let’s play hide and seek’…and I commented to Denis…”look how happy SHADOW is”. He was less than 5 feet from me as I watched him peek around the tree at the people coming. He stepped back a few feet and was sniffing around what appeared to be some sort of wagon…but watching the people come into the parking lot. He always played hide and seek this way…peeking around a tree or bush or chair…with his bright, big brown eyes filled with love.

Suddenly, SHADOW let out a horrific yelp. I screamed, “SHADOW”…what’s the matter Sweetie…? He kept yelping and ran and jumped into Denis’ arms…with a piercing yelp. His breathing was so labored and his little lips were quivering. Denis picked him up and laid him down in the front seat of the truck. I started screaming because I knew something was horribly wrong with my baby boy. My mind then registered the “pop” noise that I had heard and I yelled to my husband, “Denis…I think SHADOW has been shot!”…Denis ran to the house and screamed…is anyone there…is anyone there? A man appeared on his porch and Denis called out to him…”did you shoot my dog?” The man replied…”yes I shot your dog…I have a problem with dogs around here.”

I was hysterical and we tried to find the wound in our beloved SHADOW’s thick fur. The man and his wife came out after several minutes and he said…I aimed at his butt…I’m sorry if I hurt him.

Poor Lucy had laid over SHADOW’s body…she knew immediately that her best friend was in danger. Denis had to lift Lucy off SHADOW’s body to get him in the truck. We rushed up the road to Denis’ aunt and uncle’s house to find a telephone and an emergency animal clinic. The closest one was an hour away. I waited in the truck holding my precious baby in my arms and rocking him and telling him how much I loved him. I begged God to help us…I could only hold him and rock his still little body.

We rushed to the clinic…all the while I held my baby in my arms and rocked him and watched the life go out of his once sparkling eyes. He made a terrible noise as if he was in agony. We felt so helpless…speeding as fast as our truck would go…praying to God not to take our child from us. When we arrived at the clinic, Denis rushed SHADOW inside where they were waiting for us. I tried to get Lucy out of the truck and we ran in behind them. As I entered the operating room, Denis was on his knees crying…I thought I was going to die…I wanted to die. My baby had died at the hands of a man wielding a high-powered pellet gun. WHY? SHADOW was an innocent child…playing hide and seek with his Mommy. I was standing right there…why didn’t the man shoot me? Why did he kill my child? SHADOW had only been with us for 4 short years…he had a lifetime of love and adventure ahead of him. SHADOW never barked at anyone…we often wondered if he even could bark. When Grandpa or the midshipmen or friends would come to the house…SHADOW would make a “talking” noise to let us know they had arrived. He never once growled…he never frightened a soul. SHADOW gave more love and affection than anyone could ever imagine. How could the man shoot our child right in front of us…I was standing right there with SHADOW…asking him if he was playing “hide and seek” with the people; Denis was standing right next to me and giving Lucy water.

In a split second, our lives changed forever. My husband and I have lost our son, SHADOW. Our daughter Lucy has lost her best friend, SHADOW. Our family and friends have lost a treasured companion. Our hearts are broken. Despite the thousands of beautiful memories and hundreds of wonderful photos of our precious SHADOW, we are haunted by those final moments of his sweet life. The horrific yelp, the gasping for air, the sound of the pellet gun, the rush to the hospital, his little eyes fading right before us, his little spotted tongue hanging out…his lifeless body in my arms.

We cannot sleep, we cannot eat, we cannot laugh…all we can do is cry. Our little Lucy has lost her jest for running and playing. She now spends her days hiding under the bed. She won’t eat, she won’t run, she won’t play. She won’t cuddle…she doesn’t even watch out the window watching the antics of the squirrels. She no longer rushes down the driveway to greet Denis when he comes home from work.

Denis has trouble focusing on work and his long commute each morning and night has become a painful drive…not being able to put the horrific memory of SHADOW running and leaping into his arms screaming in pain. Denis once loved calling from his cell phone as he entered our neighborhood…just to make sure that we knew he was almost home and wanting to be greeted by his furry little boy with his tail going around and around in a circle. Now there is no SHADOW to leap into his lap when he opens the truck door at the end of a long day.

As his mommy, I feel so lost. I can’t sleep and I can’t stop crying. My days are so empty without my little boy. No matter how hard I try to coax Lucy to cuddle and play…she just hides under the bed. I now run my errands alone…I no longer have my little boy sitting just like a person seat-belted in the front seat and my little girl in the back seat of my Neon. I no longer have my little SHADOW keeping me company every morning, as I get ready for the day. I make the bed alone…no furry little boy playing hide and seek under the blankets. I no longer sit in the blue chair next the CD player every night reading SHADOW a bedtime story and playing the music from Pocahontas. I no longer have a furry little fluff-ball cuddled next to me in bed at night. I no longer have a little boy to wrap in my arms and hug and kiss and tell him how much I love him and what a bundle of joy from God he is to my life. I can’t get through any task during my day without breaking down and sobbing.

SHADOW was our child. He was our son. He was our pride and joy. We loved him so deeply. As we held his limp body wrapped in a blanket saying our final farewell, we laid SHADOW next to Lucy so she too would be able to say goodbye. There is no understanding how this horrific tragedy could happen. There is no answer…though we continue to search for one. We will never be able to overcome the horror that is left in our minds and the terrible pain that is left in our hearts.

We thank God for the four wonderful years we had with SHADOW…and I find myself wondering if I will be able to go on without him in my life. We now lay at night with his ashes and his favorite stuffed bunny rabbit and puppy dog between us. We have each other to offer comfort…but our lives are changed forever and our spirits are broken beyond repair.

We love you SHADOW…forever.