Meet SHADOW

"Saving just one dog won't change the world...but surely the world will change for that one dog"

...Anonymous

"Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough."

...St. Francis of Assisi

July 19, 2007

My precious Little Shadow,

I feel your soft fur on my feet as I sit at my chair writing this letter to you. I feel your heartbeat next to my heart. I see your bright eyes filled with so much love for Mommy, Daddy and sister Lucy. I see your adorable ears perk up at the sound of my voice talking to you. I see your paws running as you dream of your daily adventures. Oh SHADOW, how can you not be here with me and why am I writing this letter to you in Heaven instead of running and playing with you outside? You see, Sweetheart, you are always with me. Every beat of my heart has an extra pulse for you. Every breath I take speaks to you. Every smile I have reflects a special memory I share with you. Every tear I shed is because I miss you so much and my heart hurts so much without you running beside me.

This day marks four years since you were so suddenly taken from us SHADOW. No amount of time ever takes away the pain of that horrible day. No words will ever comfort us over losing you. Sometimes it is difficult to breathe without falling into such a deep sadness thinking about how our lives would be today if you were still alive and bringing such laughter and love into every moment of every day. Four years means nothing to us because the pain of our lives without you makes that terrible day seem as if no time has passed. Not a day goes by that we don’t relive the horror of you dying in our arms.

Our family unit has grown, and yet we are always missing our most special little boy. Every adventure we embark on seems to be less than what it would be if you were with us SHADOW. Countless times every day we talk about you. We remember every mannerism you used to express your love of life. Our hearts smile when we envision your adorable head tilting whenever we spoke to you. We laugh recounting the way you loved to sleep on your back with your legs straight up in the air. We will never spread grass seed on the path you made on your ‘crazy-run’ around the house. Your toys still fill your toy box and your furry ball is still on Grandpa’s bookshelf where you left it the last time you played at his house.

Lucy still perks her ears up whenever we say your name SHADOW. She has slowed down, but is as loving as ever. Your favorite stuffed animal toy now rests on Lucy’s bed and she does not allow any of the others to touch your bunny. Every night, just before bedtime, Lucy wants to go outside for a few minutes. We open the kitchen door and she stands on the porch with her head between the slats…just the way you both used to stand and peer out on the yard for one last check before turning in for the night. She barks 5 big WOOFS in a row. We are certain she is saying “goodnight SHADOW…I love you”. This happens without fail, every single night SHADOW. We look at Lucy and see YOU in her heart.

You are doing a wonderful job sending calming energy down to Spirit. He has come so far since we first adopted him. You know, we named him Spirit for YOUR spirit…and believe me, he is FULL of spirit without a doubt. He has slowly become gentler and even affectionate. We don’t feel quite as ‘on guard’ with Spirit as we used to – he is learning to be a loving member of the family. We work very hard to teach him agility to build his confidence and burn off his excess energy. Daddy made all sorts of agility equipment for the yard and he takes such pride in Spirit’s progress. He has even won some ribbons in competition. SHADOW, Mommy and Daddy know that you are connecting with Spirit and helping him to realize how much we love him. He has such respect for Lucy, such competitive energy with Sam, such gentle big-brother attitude for Lightfoot. Spirit came to us so soon after we lost you SHADOW, and for many reasons, it has been a challenge. Each difficult moment we have encountered, we KNOW that YOU want us to take a deep breath and patiently continue to work with Spirit. When we lost you, we were so lost and had no energy in our hearts. You sent us Spirit to give us a job to do and a reason to stay focused on getting our own strength back. You are so smart SHADOW…you knew that is exactly what we needed to help us through a horrible time. Now we look at Spirit and we see YOU in his eyes.

Sam is pure joy. He has a heart as big as he is! He takes such joy in showing us how much he loves us. Sam is never more than a foot away from our sides. His fluffy little ears constantly bobbing up and down as he nuzzles his wet little nose against us. Sam is happiest when his body is touching ours – or running on the path that YOU made in the backyard. Sam does agility with Daddy also and he has lots of ribbons and even a title. He does agility because Daddy loves it so much…not especially because he enjoys it. That is just how Sam is - always wanting to please his Mommy and Daddy. He has found your stuffed Santa Claus and claimed it as his favorite toy. It is as though he knows it is not a toy to be rough with…he just likes to carry it around the house. His other favorite toy is Lightfoot. Those two rumble and chase and tease each other for hours every day. When Sam gets too rough in his playing, Lucy and Spirit step in and act as referee. Sam and Spirit both go running with Daddy every other day, but it is not the same as when Daddy ran with you SHADOW. You loved the wind blowing in your face…the speed of your legs…the freedom of running through the open woods with your Daddy. Not a day passes that Daddy doesn’t mention how much he misses running, swimming or skiing with you SHADOW. Daddy tells everyone that you were his “best friend.” Tears well up in Daddy’s eyes when he talks about your marathon training together. He is training for a triathlon now – but he feels that his ‘trainer’ is not there with him. Spirit and Sam like to run…but they don’t love it the way you did. Sam is a cuddler – just like you. You were so wise to send us Sam (and Sam means wise)…you knew we needed affection and lots of it. When we look at Sam, we see YOU in his joy for life and affection for his family.

Lightfoot is a bundle of laughter and energy rolled into a tiny 8-pound package. His antics are never ceasing. He is the funniest little boy with a constant smile on his face. He actually plays a game with every treat we give to him. He throws the treat in the air, and when it falls on the floor, he barks at it and runs circles around – almost daring the treat to chase him! He loves to jump up into our laps whenever and wherever we are sitting down. For such a tiny little guy – he thinks his job is to watch out the front window and protect the family and house from any impending danger on the outside – including falling leaves from the trees or squirrels stealing from the birdfeeders. Lightfoot has a certain way that he thinks our bed should be made and he takes great pride in pulling all the covers off us at night and rearranging them so that they are covering him up instead. At Grandpa’s house, he takes over Grandpa’s chair, Grandpa’s bed, Grandpa’s ottoman, Grandpa’s seat in front of the fireplace, and of course, Grandpa’s heart. Of course you came full circle in taking care of us when you sent us Lightfoot SHADOW. When we look at Lightfoot, we see YOU in his ability to make us laugh with such ease.

We continue to work with an incredible person, Heidi Groff. She understands the importance of our quest to improve the laws to recognize the true value of companion animals as members of the family, not mere property. Heidi has had tremendous influence with promoting your story SHADOW. She beautifully orchestrated a major media opportunity that has opened many hearts to your cause. Your death will not be in vain Sweetheart. We will work until we succeed on your behalf to have legal recognition of the relationship between companion animals and their families. This will help so many families SHADOW and ultimately we hope to have the SHADOW Law in your honor.

Oh SHADOW, if only we could hold you in our arms and share every moment of our lives with you. We FEEL you and SEE you in Lucy, Spirit, Sam and Lightfoot. We know when we look in each other’s eyes and wipe away each other’s tears to comfort our broken hearts that YOU are always with us SHADOW – but we would give our lives to have you physically with us. We miss you more today than yesterday and we know that tomorrow we will miss you even more. You brought indescribable joy to our family. Your presence in our lives will live forever. We love you with every beat of our hearts SHADOW. Thank you for the honor of having you as such an important member of our family. Every thought of YOU brings an extra heartbeat of love to our hearts.

Forever your family,
Mommy, Daddy, Lucy, Spirit, Sam and Lightfoot